Mirror Mirror on the wall…

What do you see when you look in the mirror? Are you generally positive about your appearance or do you think ‘only if I was slimmer, prettier, little bit more toner etc’ or all together ‘I wish I was someone else?!’ I would be lying if I hadn’t felt the latter lot of the times in when I look in the mirror. Our insecurities, all the things that are wrong with our face, body, the way we act or something we said wrong, all seem to be somehow exaggerated when we look in the mirror. In the modern world that we live in, comparing ourselves and judging ourselves against others is often too easy. This goes deeper than just appearances; often our self-worth is based on what we see in the mirror, rightly or wrongly.

How you feel about yourself, and you can catch a glimpse of that when you look in the mirror, is the key your relationships and everything about you. In the personal development, self-improvement arena, there is more and more focus on using mirror as one of the tools to build self-esteem. One of the techniques I came across is by Robert Holden, who advocates standing in front of a mirror and using positive affirmations to overcome your ego and reach self-acceptance.

Over the years, I have come to the realisation that loving yourself, not just your appearance, but loving truly who you are one of the main keys to eternal happiness. This means forgiving yourself when you make a mistake, being kind to yourself when you look in the mirror and generally treating yourself like how you would treat the person who hold close to your heart. After does it not make sense to fill yourself with love before loving others?!

So starting today, why don’t you try being a little bit kinder to yourself when you see yourself in the mirror. Start with little acknowledgments; little things you like about yourself and perhaps an affirmation or two; ‘I am loved’ or ‘I am enough’. Being kind to yourself in the mirror does not take too long or need much effort, but results can actually be quite surprising.

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Practice makes Perfect…Should I say practice makes profound changes….

Since I have started writing this blog, I have noticed quite profound changes in my life. Yet if you ask those around me what has changed for me, well, answer is likely to be Nothing! At least nothing physically profound anyway. My changes have been more internal, I am happier and more than that I know that being happy inside comes first, and external happiness such as wealth, relationships, successes are BY-PRODUCTS of my inner happiness!

So what has bought about this change for me? For a start, there is the concept of practicing what you preach! By writing down these positive psychology and law of attraction principles, I am putting more of the theories into practice than I have done so. In the past, all the self-help theories and ideas I have read has remained as theories and ideas in MY HEAD!

The thing about self-help and all of those self-improvement theories is that the most effective ones are the most simplest and often nothing new, just a bit of a common sense! In most cases, its something we were aware of, but being put to us in a slightly different context. For example, I always knew having a positive attitude equates to being more happier (pre-LOA belief!) and I think most of you guys would agree with that. Yet, knowing the theory does not mean that we always carry a positive attitude with us, in most cases, we park the theory somewhere in the back of our mind and just get on with it! Fall back to our fail-safe attitude, our set-point, whatever that may be.

So how does a theory or an idea become part of our lives? especially when we are talking about workings of the mind,  I really think a lot is to do with putting theory into practice and by practicing often, it becomes habitual, part of a routine. Classic example for me is the theory of mindfulness. I have been aware of people taking about mindfulness for a long time now, from psychology to spirituality, mindfulness seems to be everywhere. I still remember reading Paul McKenna’s ‘I can make you thin’ where he talks about mindful eating (and how that will make you thin!) and here we are 10 years down line, I still haven’t mastered mindful eating. Actually I think my mind is in a place where I see food, I sense a 5 minute timer where I need to scoffle down my food or I will die of starvation! ( okay slight exaggeration, but you get my point)

Mindfulness is probably the one of the most easiest theory to understand, it is simply being mindful or paying attention to your mind, yet it is one of the most difficult theory to put into practice! Try sitting quietly for 5 minutes and paying attention to thoughts and feelings, without judgement and accepting whatever sensation that comes to you. Chances are, unless of course, you are a master meditator, your attention will waver after the first 2 minutes. Afterall, according to Buddha, we all have monkey minds, untamed and running around wildly.

As time goes by and I do practice mindfulness more and more, it does get easier, I have my ‘off’ moments, but overall it is much easier than when I started. For me, rather than practice makes perfect, its more of a practice makes changes, SLOWLY. I think I am far from perfect  in terms of getting to grips with mindfulness, but I am better! Over the months, I have  come to pay  better attention to  what thoughts  my monkey mind is running away with! And this in turn has helped me to be a happier person and making law of attraction work in my favor by attracting the things I want.

In the ether of internet and social media and even in books, the law of attraction is sold as a magic formula, to fix everything in your life, almost in an instant, just by understanding the ‘secret’.  The reality is that understanding and believing in law of attraction is one thing, but controlling your mind is the real ‘secret’ and from my experience, controlling your mind comes with practice and changing your habits! And yes, I do believe in the magic of law of attraction, but it is a magic that only works when the main magician is working, your mind!

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