Law of Attraction – Back to Basics

Law of attraction is the notion that we live in an energy based universe and universe works on the basis of ‘like attracts like’ and therefore working of our inner mind or our sub-conscious (energy we project out) has a direct impact on the working of the universe (energy we receive back). So if our thoughts, feelings and general attitudes are positive, i.e. we are sending out positive vibes to the universe, we will attract more positive experiences in our life. This also works vice versa, i.e. you send out negative vibes and you attract more negative experiences.

A universe that responds to our thoughts may sound far-fetched but some of the recent scientific discoveries in quantum physics and cosmology are by far stranger. The double slit experiment in particle physics tells us that at a sub-atomic level, the act of observation makes the particles behave differently (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfPeprQ7oGc – DR Quantum’s version of the experiment).  While in cosmology, Cosmologists have theorised that 95% of the universe is made up of dark energy and dark matter which by far has stranger properties that matter, which is the only thing we know a little about (http://hubblesite.org/hubble_discoveries/dark_energy/de-what_is_dark_energy.php).

Although, phenomenon like double slit experiment or dark energy does not necessarily prove the existence of a universe which is influenced by our sub-conscious mind, but it has certainly encouraged me to be more opened minded as there is a lot of things in the universe that we do not understand yet.

With an open mind if we accept that the law of attraction exists, then we must accept that we are creating our own reality. I don’t mean that in a metaphorical ‘motivational-quote’ kind of a way, but in a literal way. If our thoughts are influencing the universe (by default that means the environment around us), then we are creating the circumstances in our life with our thoughts, intentionally or not. Welcome to your own personal Matrix world!

Law of Attraction – Mind Tools

There are many leading thought experts and facilitators out there who devise new tools and techniques to harness this knowledge so that as individuals and as a society we can live a life for the better. Here are some of the techniques used:

  • Creative visualisation – This essentially focuses our minds to create picture of our ideal future and imagine living it at the present moment.
  • Living life though Gratitude – being thankful for what you have and by doing so attracting more situations and circumstances that we will have to be grateful for.
  • Affirmation statements – stating exactly what you want in life but using present tense so your inner mind knows exactly what you want
  • Mirror work – what does a mirror do? It reflects; a bit like the Law Of universe. So mirror work essentially an opportunity to work on yourself and your thoughts in front of a mirror.
  • Practicing Mindfulness – Being aware of our thoughts and feelings (without judgement) is the first step in understanding and controlling our minds. By practicing mindfulness you get to know your thought patterns and so that any negative patterns can be changed.
  • Practicing Meditation – Similar to mindfulness, practicing mediation, we are able to quieten our minds and able to observe our thoughts. Additionally in a meditative state, we are more likely to access our sub-conscious mind and therefore able to influence our thoughts at a deeper level.

Law of Attraction – Resistance is Futile

There are loads of reasons why many people feel that law of attraction tools don’t work; or law of attraction does not work entirely. The problem is that if you think law of attraction doesn’t exist, well then the chances are that all the circumstances that show up in your life will convince you that it doesn’t exist. So to a certain extent, a leap of faith is needed; hence why law of attraction is often thought of as a spiritual practice.

Another pitfall is that your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and attitudes must be aligned to what you are trying to attract in your life. For example, you are trying to attract wealth in your life, but in the back of your mind you think money is the root of all evil, so it is very likely you will not succeed, after all you don’t want evil in your life do you?! This is where psychology techniques come into play to have self-awareness; know yourself and know what feels right and what doesn’t.  When you want to attract something that you fully believe in then it will come naturally, it will not be a struggle.

The classic reason why law of attraction doesn’t work for people is fear. We as human being are driven and to some extent protected by fear; it comes to us as naturally as love does. Problem is when you are fearful that you are not going to get what you desire more than the love you feel for your desire then it is likely that the fear will win out. You will not get what your heart desires. Let go of that fear, especially in the manifesting process; believe you will get what you want and believe it with your whole heart and mind.

As a Practitioner of law of attraction for many years (some intentionally and some unintentionally!), knowing the law and applying it are two different things. I still suffer from resistance when I am trying to attract things I want in my life, but it is getting easier to work out what my resistance is. It does take time for you to work out what you really want and sometimes it feels like it takes time for the universe to deliver your want and you know what, that is okay! Time gives you that chance to reflect and really work out what you want.  Sometimes it turns out that something that you wanted for a long time is not something that you actually needed. So that’s where the saying come from; ‘be careful what you wish for’; because your wishes do come true!

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To feel or not to feel, that is the question!

Feelings are wonderful abstract things and where would we be without them? How could we experience happiness, joy or pleasure? Yes, there is the other side to it, the feelings of pain, anger, sadness, but doesn’t these negative feelings also shape who we are? If I take my daughter as an example, she is one and half years old and her mood and feelings change quite quickly within space of few minutes. One minute she may be sad because she is missing her comforter toy and the next minute her favourite music comes on or she discovers a new toy and she is overjoyed. How can I tell that she is happy without knowing what her sadness looks like? Even for myself, how do I know I am really happy without having experienced what sadness feels like?

As adults our feelings and the emotions that they evoke are very complex. Not only we experience a range of emotions from utter joy to despair, but our feelings differ towards the same set of circumstances at different times! Our feelings are very subjective experience and its very person dependent; my feelings may evoke a completely different set of emotional response to someone who is standing next me going through the same experience, whatever it may be, may respond completely differently, depending on their beliefs, values, life experiences and personality.

It was a bad, mad, sad day!

So what has got me thinking about feelings today? Well, for a start, I had a bad day few days back; I had a day where I felt annoyed, sad and drained and I attracted situations that gave me more reasons to be annoyed, sad or feel drained. I tried to shake it off several times by thinking positively, visualising how I want things to go and even practicing gratitude.  But alas, things didn’t change and the negative circumstances just kept on coming and by the end of the day, I just really wanted to go to bed and forget about the whole day.

According to law of attraction, we attract what we are thinking into our lives and therefore, at least at a subconscious level, I have chosen to have a bad day or attracted set of circumstances in my life that led to this particular bad day. In hindsight, this was true for me. I was travelling by air that day and I was rather anxious as this was only few days after Germanwings flight went down in France. I couldn’t shake off the sadness that I felt for those involved or the feelings of paranoia that I had over getting on a plane, however mild. Also the holiday I had high hopes for didn’t pan out the way I wanted it to as the holiday destination had bad weather for the whole week and I rather spent way too  much time cooped up in the hotel room feeling rather bored.

So as I sat in the airport on our way back home, I knew I am on a verge of starting a bad day and I knew I had to change my thoughts and feelings to more of a positive vibe but I just couldn’t do it. I was trying to think and feel positive, but it really felt like swimming upstream (see below), not natural and very hard work. I just couldn’t shake off my feelings quick enough to make a difference to my day.

Looking back, perhaps this can be explained by Ester Hicks and Jerry Hicks (The Astonishing Power of Emotions):

‘The most common misunderstanding that prevents people from getting control of a situation and gaining their personal balance is the belief that I need to get to where I want to be right now or as quickly as possible. We certainly understand your desire to find the answers to your questions quickly or to solve your problems as fast as you can, but still, that urge works against you. When you feel an urgency to be somewhere else, you are pushing hard against where you are. That is upstream.’

Best thing I could have done that day was to accept my feelings for what they were and what I was feeling at that point in time does not define me as a person. I know ‘this too shall pass’ and I know I will have a better day tomorrow because a good night sleep always does wonders. Besides, now that I have been reminded what a bad day feels like, I can perhaps appreciate the next good day when I see it come up!

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Feelings and law of attraction

Feelings play an important part in law of attraction; you cannot feel bad and expect to attract good things. The more pro-longed the negative feelings, the more difficult it would be change them. For example, if you feel you don’t have enough money, chances are you will attract situations where you will not have enough money, it doesn’t matter how you earn. Same also goes for health. If you always felt unhappy about your body for example, how can you attract the body you want? In order for law of attraction to work for you, you must change your feelings towards your body first; you must learn to be happy with it in the first place.

Now, I know this from first-hand experience, this is easily said than done and you cannot instantly change your feelings. Your programming about self-image perhaps took good few years to achieve, so it’s unrealistic to think these feelings will disappear overnight, unlike my bad day. Changes to feelings take time, especially if they are strongly rooted feelings, but the good thing is once our feelings are in tune with what we want, and then changing our thoughts become matter of fact. Feelings can be strong enablers to make law of attraction work for you, but changing feelings and associated emotions can be hard work and with practice, feelings too, in time, can be changed and mastered.

Personal experiment….Pear-drop pendent!

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On holiday, I had a perfect example of how law of attraction worked for me which I wanted to share. I would describe myself as a careless person when it comes to my personal possessions, which I have always been okay with, because I had learned at a very early age, whatever material things I loose, it can always be replaced. So on holiday, I managed to lose a gold pear-drop pendent that I had on a chain. I looked around everywhere for it and since I had walked around a lot on that particular day; I could only go back to some of the places to look for it.

That night, I visualised finding the pendent. Then I didn’t think much about it after that and certainly did not stress about it, as I know it can be replaced if need to be.  I held it very lightly in my mind and that’s about it. The last day, as we were leaving the hotel, I was tidying up and as I looked under my daughter’s cot, there it was I had found the pendent.

This is a very small example, and some people may just describe it as a coincidence or even lucky, but for me, when it was meant to work out, it felt right, almost like swimming downstream rather than upstream. This may sound contradictory, but if I really wanted to find it and I was stressed in my search for it, then it’s very likely that negative thoughts and feelings would have kicked in. ‘What if I can’t find it? It’s lost forever.’ Chances are once the urgency for finding the pendent and the fear of losing it forever kicks in I would have attracted the pendent to be lost forever. That is the simple fact of law of attraction; whatever you think or feel the most that is what you will attract into your life. So there is a case for holding whatever you want lightly in your mind, rather than wanting it so badly you start feeling the fear of not getting what you want.

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Me, Myself and the Law of Attraction

I think it is about time that I shared my personal story and my experiences with law of attraction. Let me start by making a very optimistic statement first. I live a healthy, wealthy and happy life and I know I have a bright future ahead of me. Those around me with a critical eye may not agree, but for me this is my truth and my view of life. In the past I have been described as ‘seeing the world though rose tinted glasses’ and more often than not, I would describe myself as an optimist.  However, there have been many cross roads in my life, reflecting back, that were challenging to say the least, but the future, in my view, is always bright.

Optimism does have a role in the law of attraction. In a world where ‘like attracts like’, positive attitudes will attract positive results. If you are always expecting things to go wrong or can spot the flaws in events more readily than appreciating the merits, then chances are that there will always be more flaws in the world around you. Being an optimist doesn’t mean that you go through life oblivious to unhappiness, but you are more likely to accept the unhappiness and know that it will pass and things will get better.

Although genetics have a part in play in someone being an optimist or pessimist, large parts of being optimist is learning though life and life situations that have shaped you. Being optimistic is an attitude and like any attitude, you can change it, all it takes is a bit of work on your mind and state of being.

My beginnings…

My early childhood was spent in the midst of a civil war. Looking back, there are several points in my childhood where I was in real danger, hiding in bunkers, being caught in aerial assaults, and being exposed to death and destruction very early on. I remember one particular incident, when I was around eight years old; we were hiding in a school, in the ground floor toilets no less, as it was the most concrete covered area of a school.  That night, due to particular bought of heavy fighting and cross fire, 27 people lost their lives on the floor above us and this memory is particularly etched into my head as I had to walk past the 27 bodies the following morning to be moved to another part of the building for safety. The reason I am sharing this is that I can see in many points in my life, where things could have gone horribly wrong for me, not just in terms of physical injury, but mentally.

In the 1990s, my family moved to the UK to get away from the war and my teenage years were spent in council accommodation, with my parents working 2 more jobs at a time.  In comparison to some of those around me now, my work colleagues in the banking sector to some of my privately educated friends, my upbringing is rather modest. But for me I knew that I am living a very privilege life, from a very early age because of my experiences in childhood and this is important part of my learned optimism.

My journey and law of attraction

There have been times in my life when negativity would overcome me, lasting days and months, but the inner voice in me, always knows that ‘this too shall pass’ and eventually my life would return to normal. First few months of my marriage and when my husband and I started living together were a prime example of turbulent times in my life. When I did come across the law of attraction, a year or so after marriage, everything made sense to me. I have attracted the negativity in my life and in my relationship by the way I was thinking, feeling and acting. Knowing Law of attraction is one thing, but putting it into action can be difficult, especially when you have been conditioned to think logically though out your life. I was able to practice the law of attraction little by little and when I started seeing positive results, it reinforced my beliefs.

Over the years, my husband and I have built a strong relationship because we were able to overcome our initial differences and I often put this down to my attitude change and renewed optimism.  In the last few years, I often find that it’s my optimism towards my personal relationships that need the most work, especially when coupled with arrival of a new baby and sleepless nights. Often when you suffer from sleep deprivation, it is difficult to be optimistic, let alone having time to think about the law of attraction. But the optimist in me knew that even the sleepless nights, ‘that too shall pass’.

Now a days, even if I am fully versed in the law of attraction, I have days of negativity, often when dealing with difficult people in work place or social situations, but I snap out of it relatively quickly so that I don’t attract too many of the negative fears that were running though my head. I know that one of the basic facts of life is that you cannot change others; you can only change the way your react to others. The two pieces of thoughts that have really helped me with maintaining relationships is that (a) treat others the way you want to be treated; (b) loving yourself – filling yourself with love in order to attract more love in your life.

I know I have a lot more to learn in this journey though law of attraction and I am grateful for myself to have taken the first steps towards it.

“the only journey is the journey within” – Rainer Maria Rilke

Those who are reading this blog, thank you! I am truly grateful to share my journey with you.

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The Science of Gratitude

“It is not happy people who are thankful, it is thankful people who are happy” – author unknown

What is gratitude?

Gratitude is a feeling of thankfulness; an expression of appreciation or it can even be described as an emotion, a feeling of happiness that comes from appreciation. Some may describe gratitude as an attitude, a mood or even a personality trait, often those who practice gratitude regularly having better resilience to adversity, increased well-being and increased general happiness.

In Law of Attraction, it’s one of the key enablers of happiness and a powerful process in purposefully creating the life you want. Gratitude features in most world religions, from Christianity to Islam and even features heavily on most self-improvement books. It is generally accepted in the field of positive psychology that being thankful to what you have is one of the top enablers to lead a happy and fulfilling life. Many studies have linked practicing gratitude to increased well-being and reduced states such as stress and depression. This is not really much of a surprise. Knowing what you have, and appreciating it, helps to acknowledge how fortunate you are. It gives you a different perspective than always wanting more and more. Of course, there is nothing wrong with wanting more, but starting that process from a place of gratitude will set you up on a more positive point.

Gratitude and Positive psychology studies

One of the popular ways to practice gratitude, and to really enjoy the benefits of gratitude this should be an on-going practice, is to keep a ‘Gratitude Journal’; writing down the things you are grateful on a regular basis. A research study by Emmons & McCullough found that keeping “counting one’s blessings” journal, a conscious focus on blessings, can lead to improved psychological and physical functioning. In this particular study, they examined the practice of gratitude by asking participants to keep weekly or daily journals and had control groups who kept journals of hassles and events of the week / day. Those who participated in gratitude journal writing had substantial and consistent improvement to well-being and general feeling of life satisfaction.

Studies such as the one conducted by Dr Martin Seligman, where the participants in his studies embarked on writing a gratitude letter to someone who they never really thanked properly for their kindness and delivering the letters personally, led to huge increases in happiness scores and effects lasted as long as a month. Other studies have focused on relationships and how gratitude can impact on them. A study by Sara Algoe (University of North Carolina) found that grateful couples not only had more satisfaction in their relationships, but more likely to be in their relationships nine months later.

Gratitude and Law of Attraction

When you have a universe that is responding not just to your actions, but also your thoughts and feelings, gratitude can play a powerful part in creating a fulfilling life. But how does Law of attraction respond to gratitude? Essentially it comes down to having higher energy levels and being in positive frame of mind. So in a ‘like attract like’ universe, you will attract higher energy situations leading to more happiness. Gratitude creates abundance as gratitude is a thought or feeling of having ‘enough’ as opposed to ‘not having enough’. In law of attraction, a mind-set of not having enough will lead to attracting a life of not having enough, a life of scarcity.

One of the tools in ASK; BELIEVE and RECEIVE process is to write each of your wish or intension as thanks as though you have already received what you have wished for (‘I am so grateful for …….’). This creates a positive feeling and a higher energy point for the universe to respond to. The catch here is that you really have to BELIEVE what you are ASKING for will be RECEIVED or manifested.

“If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough.” ― Meister Eckhart

Gratitude: Practice makes it perfect!

How do you practice gratitude? There are many tools and techniques that so many researchers and great thinkers have come up with and here are my favourite few.

  1. Gratitude journal – writing down what you are grateful for on a daily / weekly basis. 3 to 5 points is often enough but the key is to keep it up regularly.
  2. Thank you note or letter – just like in Dr Seligman’s experiment, writing a note to someone for their kindness. Studies have shown you don’t even have to deliver the letter, but writing it in the first place has benefits.
  3. Showing your appreciation and saying thank you (and meaning it!) – The word ‘thank you’ can go a long way in cultivating positive relationships, whether that is with your partner or your colleagues. How about telling a loved one why you are thankful for having them in your life.
  4. Being Mindful – noticing and appreciating the small things in life; a beautiful sunny day or a smile from a stranger. When you become mindful and take notice of moments, you get a profound appreciation for the bigger picture, which is often your life in general.
  5. Gratitude prayer – for those who are religious as well as those who haven’t quite made up their mind, a prayer or counting your blessing intrinsically can help to practice gratitude.

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